dear 15 year old me: you (kind of) need help.
[10 things i would teach my younger self]
If I had a penny for everytime someone asked me, “wait… you’re 24 years old?” I would probably be one rich motherf*cker. I try not to assume they’re asking me because of the way that I look (because that would just be depressing considering I care so much about skincare LMFAO), but rather because of the way I carry myself.
That sounds cocky asf. That’s not what I meant. I think it probably has to do with the way I talk, but even then, now that I think about it… it’s probably just the way that I look. So, nevermind.
In any case, yes — I turn 25 years old this year: June 7, 2024. And, fuck… I feel like I’ve literally been asleep for the past 5 years. I always blame COVID, but now that I think about it, what have I actually learned about myself in the past 25 years anyways?
Besides how to make a mean dirty martini or a makeshift "gardening piece” with an apple (iykyk), what have I learned about life itself? Ever year on my birthday, I’m always crying with a journal open. It’s literally the one time a year I remember to write in my $5 diary because it’s the only time I realize, “I’m probably due for another session of self-reflection.” It’s cheaper than therapy and it’s less scary, in my opinion.
This year, instead of opening a bottle of Titos and flipping to the second page of my 98% blank journal prepared to write another dump of self-reflecting feelings, I’ve decided to instead give my 15 year old self some helpful advice from the future. It helps me to put into perspective how much I’ve grown and learned by remembering the stupid things I did before and how I would go about it differently now. It’s also a lot more fun bullying the old you rather than the current you.
So, here’s
10 things I would tell my younger self from 10 years ago (hi 15 year old Nikki!):Just because someone is pretty, doesn’t mean you can’t be pretty either. Comparison is the thief of joy. There’s enough space for pretty people in this world, I promise!
Stop checking your phone to see if ____ texted you. The fact that you probably depend your whole mood on that makes it even more unhealthy. If someone wanted to, they would. (Also, sidenote, you meet your future husband when you’re 22. So, there’s someone out there for you.)
No, your parents don’t hate you. I think it’s admirable that you love to explore and try new things, but at the risk of your personal safety, you’re better off just listening to them. Plus, you’re 15 years old with no license or money. Where are you gonna go?
Put that bleach and hair straightener DOWNNNNN. Please save your 25 year old self money, tears and 10000+ scalp massages. You can’t imagine how much money we spend now to get the hair we used to have then.
One thing people could never take away from you is your education. I know you probably don’t think you’ll get into Harvard so what’s the point, but do you know how much money you could save with merit based scholarships? Don’t even answer that question. I’ll answer it for you: thousands. Literally thousands.
It feels like if you miss the party of the century, your life will never be the same again. But, no. What you’re feeling right now is FOMO (fear of missing out), and it passes. Within like a day or two, actually. So, relax. Missing a party now will not matter ever in your life.
Caring about what others think will always be our weakness, but listening to their criticisms and letting it affect you is not a lesson you need to be taught all the time. Let people talk about you and let it pass, because not one single individual who does will ever pay your bills.
Please. Do. Not. Touch. That. Waist. Trainer. I can sit here and tell you how beautiful you already are, but I know you probably wouldn’t listen to that. So, let me save you the time and tell you that you don’t end up having a snatched waist, you end up getting ringworm. Put it down.
You don’t need a circle of 200+ people to validate you. You don’t need that friend group with 5000 people to feel wanted. The only person in your circle that could make you better is you, so as long as you’re happy with what you’ve got going on, I don’t see the need for adding another party to the mix.
Nothing will ever be that deep. Everything comes on time. You’re exactly where you need to be. Take a breath, and enjoy the fact that you’re 15 f*cking years old.
with love,
your sexy, gorgeous and incredibly brilliant 25-year old future self.
